sick of the unknowns

currently listening: Amy Grant, House of Love (don't judge, I saw this on tour in Indy forever ago and it was great)

anyways, once again, my life is FULL of unknowns. this is not necessarily a bad thing. some unknowns are expected... like, where will I be in five years? or even next year? will I have a date in the next 2 months? how many kids will I have? when will it be the right time to buy a diff. car? these are all things that it's like, "duh, obviously you won't know that stuff yet." I'm a pretty laid back person, and I don't mind not having every detail of my life planned and set. however, there are some things that I DO like to have taken care of, like... a JOB, a PLACE TO LIVE (that won't be in the ghetto and full of bugs and won't charge me out the butt) and, did I mention a job? Now, I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty normal stuff to want to know about. I don't particularly enjoy not knowing where I will be living, or how I will pay to live there. that's not too crazy, right?

I'm sick of that. I know it just comes with this stage of life, post-graduation and all that, and that there's millions of others in this very same spot. But it's not really that fun! I'm sure everyone else hates it too. I just want to be able to get a job nailed down, and not have to wait, and wonder and worry about how I'm going to pay to just live. I have a couple different job prospects that I am looking at for the fall, and on one I have to wait until August 1 to even get rolling, and the other is just not even defined at all, even though I really would want it. Ok, I really want both. I am also beginning to look for an apartment, but unfortunately, b/c neither my roomie and I have jobs (other than mine at Starbucks) it is kinda hard to pick a good location to live! And since I can't do much about these up in the air job prospects, we pretty much have to just pick a place somewhere we think could work out location wise and hope for the best. That isn't really the end of the world, but it's just not the way I would've hoped things would go. But what really is, let's be honest.

Things I do have: a job at Starbucks, which will work for as long as I want/need it to, a roommate, a car, and plans for apartment finding. So, I won't be living out on the street or anything. It's still just more unknowns about big stuff than I prefer, and I hate waiting for pretty much anything! haha.

so again, as the theme of the last, ummm... 5 or so months of my life have been... and will continue to be, TRUST. God's in control of all of this, and has a plan, and probably laughs at my mental gymnastics trying to figure out my next step on this journey. Even though waiting til the last minute, or month, to figure out what's up with a job is NOT something I want to do... God's got me covered, and I just have to rest in that and not allow myself to panic. Which is tough. Things like this are REALLY easy to stress over.

would you join me in praying for the right doors to open? for my heart and mind to trust in my Savior's plan? and for patience, and wise preparations?

I have this verse on my mirror: "The Lord will work out his plans for my life, for Your faithful love oh Lord, endures forever." Good reminder to have in front of my face every day.

blessings, and to the unknown!